Parnassian Excommunications

( Doggerel Rules )

To Hell with Prosody, and Curses on Scansion,
No asylum for either in my Father’s mansion
Though ‘tis lavished with a myriad fine rooms,
Expunge this pair by the dash of swift brooms;
Ne’er anoint the insipid paws of finical guests,
Ostracize Poetic vermin and all Literary pests.

Yea, Crucify the foul demons of Elegiac couplets,
A preference to begetting antler-capped triplets
Than be bound by the Tenets of Pedantic Verse,
A Res Judicata oozing from an insolvent purse.

Consign all Iambic dogmas to char at the Stake,
Afore mine Inquisition shalt the Anapests quake,
Trochee and Spondee alike, we cast thee Asunder,
Alcaic Epos divested of their grim Awe and Wonder.
The Petrarchan sonnet form, grown prosaic and stale,
With Aeoloic stanzas, Convicted, are next to Impale;
Steeds hackneyed and lame clutter the Literary stable,
But no contraband victuals adorn this Muse’s table,
We pronounce thee Passé, and commit to the Hearse,
‘Tis small wonder the Modernists resort to Narrative verse.