Colonial Conquests

So pleasant to travel these far Asian lands,
Where the Indigents greet us with quick, grasping hands,
And thank us profusely for such wonders as the wheel,
Plus all other Innovations they might copy or steal.

What Industry and Commerce they make of our Trash,
That we discard freely, they retrieve at a dash;
To squabble over Garbage, with howls and screams,
The Refuse of Civilisation founds their society’s Dreams.

All converts to Christianity, with its inherent hypocrisy,
Guided their chieftains to Governmental Bureaucracy,
Taught the guile’s to tax and exploit their fellow men,
And grant us Trade Treatise, with the stroke of Our pen.

Aye, educate them rightly : but enough, and no more,
Lest the Fevers of Jingoism tempt them show us the door;
Enough to bring forth from the Dark Heathen Night,
And allow us exploit their resources by Contractual Right.

So their hardwoods and minerals and spices and all
We harvest and ship to far Commerce’s call,
But barter and remit in the most Christian of fashions;
Though opium and grog and guns be their passions.

What Fervent Toil is committed to these Colonisation’s,
For the Glory of God, and the Wealth of our Nations;
To fuel Great Becomings, we’ll ne’er shoulder regrets,
That done for an Empire on which the sun never sets.