The Euro

Inform us, we pray, which cozening Monetary Scholars
Saddled the gullible E.E.C. with tawdry Eurodollars,
What unqualified arrogance conjured by a fiscal Opus Dei
Attempts to create Remunerative Truth from a Bankrupt Lie ?
Another esoteric victory for a vile Prieure de Sion’s scroll
Plotting Their Utopian Europe in some dank subterranean hole
Fabian Aristocrats and Oligarchs assembled in a venal forum,
How many Imbeciles to make up a covert Legislative Quorum ?

So the Deed is Done, and the Euro plummets more than falls
Echoing in cacophony around the Globe’s Financial Halls,
As Europe woefully laments and cries Foul against the Issue
Hobbled by a common currency worth less than toilet tissue.
Cosmopolitan queues snake to the money changers’ grills,
Bent on trading off the source of their mass financial ills,
Back into something Sterling, escudos, drachmas or francs,
Ensconced within a sock, and to Hell with Edacious Banks.

‘Tis providential this Numismatic Nightmare came up short
Else unctuous Frogs and Dagos our vital commodities bought,
Paid for in Euro bills, stained with pomades and cheap wine,
Redolent of chilies and garlic, and medicinal turpentine.