Pray which Holy Sage proclaimed old Saint Peter
Was lauded as a Master of the Iambic Meter,
For whate’r his Virtues, Pious and Gracious,
This alleged poetic talent is quite fallacious.
Unlike Saint Paul, with his copious Epistles,
Pete’s literary Blooms remain more at Thistles;
Given quill and parchment he couldn’t spell “Tent”
As trawling for fish was his vocational bent.
The University of Galilee offered no Literary Courses,
Just Darning Nets and Shoeing Horses,
And while being promoted to a “Fisher of Men”
Was still unable to count from One to Ten.
That he became an Apostle, and traded old rope,
Is never conjectured, before elected as Pope,
But where is the proof of his Elegiac capacity,
That Vatican archivists claim with such veracity;
Whate’r verse he mused before inverted crucifixion
Is lost in the mists of theological contradiction.
While some might label me a biased Protestant critic
Can Anyone write verse in Hieroglyphs or Semitic?