He is the very Model of a Modern Prime Minister,
A Quintessential Optimist, the antonym of Sinister,
A Wunderkind in Genesis, to lead New Labour’s Reich,
Pedalling around Chequers on the janitor’s mountain bike.
A Stalwart of Family Values, and of Women’s Needs,
Was recently quite successful in planting his own seeds,
With Cherie set to waddling around the Inns of Court
While Tony and his Cabinet quaffed their Parliamentary port.
At the mention of Paternity Leave the P.M. became aphonic,
Visions of changing feculent diapers rendered him catatonic,
Thirteen weeks playing Nursemaid, as British Law now grants
While Tony wears the Apron, and Cherie dons the Pants.
Considering this pregnancy was a Contraceptive Oversight,
The Pater Imminentus has our commiseration’s in his Plight.
Yet hopefully the Economy will benefit from Tony’s manning,
If he doesn’t screw it up like his pathetic Family Planning.
Downing Street is jam packed full, and the mood is one of Joy
As Court Physicians and a Zoologist determine “It’s a Boy !”
And Baby Blair meets the Press, for his first media grooming,
New Labour’s Publicity Coup must have the Tories fuming,
And perhaps ease the rumours of a Gay Mafia at the rein
If at least their Fuhrer procreates with women now and again.